Jennifer Lopez: “I used to think about romantic love, now I think more about self-love.”

Jennifer Lopez (New York, 1969) grew up in a modest apartment in the Bronx, a neighborhood mostly populated by immigrants—including Latinos like her parents—separated from the opulence of Manhattan by the Harlem River. There, spring temperatures barely alleviate the harshness of winter, when the thermometer drops below 0°C. But that time is now a mere memory for the singer and actress, who moved to Los Angeles in the 1990s when her career took off. Today, Lopez hosts La Vanguardia at her Beverly Hills home. Although the sun shines with California's characteristic warmth and the temperature is 20°C, she bundles up in a wool cardigan as she settles into one of the sofas in her living room, next to a lit fireplace. "I never liked the cold, and it was my least favorite thing about New York. Your shoes were always wet, your feet were frozen, and you felt like your lips and nose were going to fall off—it was the worst," she recalls. Despite the vastness of the space, the fire provides a cozy warmth, enhanced by the decor: light wood floors and bookshelves filled with books that reach up to the ceiling. "I can't wait to get to Spain and feel the true warmth of summer."

The singer will perform in Barcelona on July 15 at the Palau Sant Jordi as part of her new Up All Night tour, which will also take her to Pontevedra, Malaga, Cadiz, Madrid, and Bilbao, in addition to other European cities. Lopez is thus resuming her live career after canceling her This Is Me... Live tour last year, shortly after her separation from Ben Affleck. "I had a very difficult year, and now I'm finally on the other side. I've learned so much about myself, about life, about love, about people, and I really feel great." For the first time since her divorce, Jennifer Lopez agrees to open the doors of her home to the press. Before beginning the interview, one of her assistants brings her a cappuccino. "Thank you," Lopez responds in Spanish. From that moment on, the conversation takes place in English.

I had a very difficult year and now I'm finally on the other side, I feel great." Jennifer Lopez

What can your fans expect from this show?

I've been thinking about what it'll be like, although I'm not completely clear on it yet. I just did a show in Saudi Arabia, but I think I need to make some adjustments. I want it to reflect who I am right now. The last time I went on stage with the It's My Party tour was a big celebration. I feel like this one will be too.

What was the hardest thing about having to cancel your previous tour?

I was heartbroken and realized it wasn't the smartest thing for me at the time. The worst part was feeling like I was letting people down. We'd already sold so many tickets. I'm happy to be back on stage, and sooner than I thought, especially internationally, which was something I wasn't going to do last summer.

How has your relationship with music changed?

People don't know this, but I'm always making music, even if I'm not releasing an album. Last year, I shot the film adaptation of the musical Kiss of the Spider Woman , so I was learning all those songs. Then I released the album This Is Me... Now . Since then, I've recorded another 20 or 30 songs. I do it for myself, because I love it. My relationship with music has always been closely tied to dance; I'm a dancer first and foremost. Things that move me, whether physically or emotionally, are the ones that speak to me. That hasn't changed over the years. Love has always been my main theme. And I think love means something different to me now. I used to think about romantic love; now I think more about self-love.

Latin music is going around the world right now, and it's a pleasure for me to see it, because I grew up in a time where everything was very stereotypical." Jennifer Lopez

Love is also a major theme in Kiss of the Spider Woman .

It's a very important story, and I want the Latino community to come see it. We want to make more films like this, with three Latina stars in the lead roles. It's about accepting people for who they are and allowing them to love freely.

There's talk of a possible Oscar nomination again. Is that something you're considering?

No. I'm very excited about my job and the things I get to do. I hope I can get bigger, better, more exciting roles. That, for me, is the greatest reward. The rest is like icing on the cake and it's fun, but it doesn't define who you are as an artist. I've never felt it does.

The worst thing about canceling the tour was feeling like I was letting people down.” Jennifer Lopez

There's been a lot of reflection on her career lately. From releasing an album 20 years after This is me... Then to returning to acting with Edward James Olmos, who played her father in Selena.

And he's going to play my father again. It gives me chills. Selena was a very special moment in my life. Eddie was a mentor to me and gave me the most important advice I've ever received as an actress. We were filming the big concert scene with 70,000 people in the room. I'd never done a concert in my life then. I'd learned all the steps; everything was carefully choreographed. We did the first take, and then he came up to me and said, 'You know this. You've got this. Now forget everything. Go out there and just be you.' He knew how hard I'd worked; he'd seen it. So I said, 'Okay, I'm going to be Selena.' And that's what I did. That experience taught me what it means to be free in front of the camera.

With Selena, you became the first Latina actress to receive a million dollars for a role. How has the landscape changed for Latin artists since then, especially in music, where they now dominate the charts?

Latin music is all over the world right now, and it's a pleasure for me to see it, because I grew up in a time where everything was very stereotypical. It's become a little more acceptable, but I still feel that, as an actress, even though I get a lot of great scripts, my best roles are still ahead of me, and I'm excited about that.

The Super Bowl was the perfect platform to say what I wanted at the time.” Jennifer Lopez

How do you manage to balance music and acting?

It's funny because last year I didn't work at all. Once I canceled the tour, which was in May, I didn't go back to work until I started shooting Office Romance in March. I was off work for a year. I was just on my own. I wanted to be home with my kids. Once I got back to work, one thing after another happened.

When was the last time you took a break?

Since I got on that hamster wheel, as they say, I've never stopped. I remember before the pandemic, I had to make the movie Hustlers and felt I needed to take the summer off to be with my kids. So I postponed filming until the following year. That was the only time I've done that in my career.

How do your children influence your career decisions?

When they were little, I could take them everywhere with me. They were homeschooled until they were eight, so I worked, and they came with me. But there came a time, when they were nine, when they asked me to go to a regular school. I would have kept them with me the whole time, but when they said that, I understood I had to be selfless and let them fly a little. Sometimes I wonder if I regret it, if maybe I should have made a different decision. Then the pandemic hit, and I was home. It's been a back and forth, but that's life.

I'm the same girl I was in the Bronx and I finally give myself credit for everything I've done." Jennifer Lopez

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It's been five years since your Super Bowl halftime show performance, a performance with a powerful political message, especially for the Latino community (you put the dancers in cages, just like Trump did with immigrants during his first term). Do you plan something similar for your upcoming performances?

I think about it and realize that that stage was the perfect platform at the perfect moment; everyone was watching. What I do always has meaning, if you look for it. I'm not a fan of aggressively sending messages. I prefer to present them subtly. That's always been the case with my art. During this year I've taken for myself, I've reflected on what kind of person, artist, mother, daughter, and partner I want to be. In such a turbulent time, not only in the United States but around the world, I've come to a very clear conclusion: the most important thing is love. It's the only thing that truly gives meaning to this life. That's what I want to convey for as long as I have time.

Looking back from the Bronx to the global stage, do you ever think about the young Jennifer Lopez who was just starting out?

I was thinking about that the other day, while I was on set. I'm there every day, immersed in a romantic comedy character, acting out serious or funny scenes. Then the weekend comes and they see me in the Pink Panther look—as they called my Formula 1 outfit. All those memes circulate, and that night I'm on stage, hair flying. That made me think. Who am I really? Am I that person on stage? Am I the one on set? Or the one walking calmly off set? I realized I'm actually the same little girl I was in the Bronx. And now, after last year, I finally give her credit for everything she's done, for everything she's created. Now I can enjoy it in a different way, because I know that what they see on the red carpet or on stage isn't me. It's a part of my job. It makes me happy, but I no longer confuse it with who I really am. It's a beautiful moment, and I'm happy to be able to share it with everyone this summer, from this place I find myself in now, so different from last year. I feel like I have something truly beautiful to offer you, and that moves me deeply.